Thursday, April 22, 2010

I believe in angels

"I'm sorry I have to tell you this because it might sound a bit weird, but please try to hear me out. I think to some degree I am supposed to tell you something or let you know something, but to be honest I am not sure what to do or say. I just have this inherent feeling that I am supposed to look after you and I feel like I have to do something, but I feel a bit powerless in my siuation. If not for you please just for me, let me know how you are doing. For some reason a bunch of things keep worrying me about things. Maybe I am wrong. Hopefully I am wrong so that you are fine and all is well, but for now I am a bit worried.
Maybe I can only do so much for now, but as my great calling implies and as a personal witness of my God I can leave you my testimony. Melissa, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you so much, unconditionally. They know everything that you are going through, good and bad. Please don't give up. It's all very worth it. Not just because I promise, be because they promise. God loves you so much. Mel, I love you so much. As your friend, I am truely here for you."

I got that letter in the mail a few hours ago. Twenty minutes before I had read it, I had decided to give up on everything in my life. I am currently so sick from stress that I'm unable to eat, i rarely leave my bed, i sleep most of the day away, and become weaker with all the time that passes. It's scaring me. When i read this letter that was sent by my dear missionary friend, tears immediatly came to my eyes. "Please don't give up" "Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love you so much, unconditionally". It's hard to believe that anyone loves me unconditionally, given what I am. I guess i forget too often about the support that I do have- in heaven, and with my baby.

No words can describe what i'm going through right now, so i'm not even going to try. I know that i'll be fine. What matters most are the blessings i am recieving. It matters not that I fell, because i was picked up. Please remember that. It's not going to be easy but it will be worth it.

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