Tuesday, November 9, 2010
it's been a while
i haven't been on here in months. thats probably because the lack of internet access combined with the craziness of my life. Well obviously my baby is here.. Rowan Michael Carter. He was born september 27th at 12:41 am, on my due date, after five hours of labor, about fifteen minutes of pushing, & was 7lbs 6oz, 21 inches long. he's beautiful (of course i'd think that but i get told every time anyone sees him, even the nurses at the hospital who see millions of babies, so i feel a bit less lame saying it haha). though i don't know who he looks like- everyone who knows his dad says he looks like him, but most of the comments i've gotten lately is that he looks "just like a carter baby", so i'm hoping he ends up looking like me since his daddy is wayyyy out of the picture. i was completely prepared to be a parent when rowan came. i'm talking i was up, late at night, smile on my face, savoring every minute, missing him if he wasn't glued into my arms.. & then the colic began. & then the acid reflux. I just cannot believe how hard it's been since then on out. i mean, it's been ridiculous. i'm exhausted, my entire family is exhausted from helping me with him, & there just doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. as soon as i think he's getting better, he gets worse. i've just been praying & praying that we'll find the solution. it's overwhelming enough being a single mom- throw colic & acid reflux into the mix & you've got potential daily breakdowns. i was prepared for everything but this. sigh. to make matters worse, it's been nonstop drama in other areas in my life. i have a LOT of big decisions to make. i don't think i've ever prayed so hard or poured my heart out so much. well, i best be off, i'll have more info next post.