My mom knew that I've been having a really hard weekend so she suggested that I go with them to church today. I really, really, REALLY didn't want to because sleeping sounded sooo much better then going out in public, where I'd be expected to be showered and look like a presentable human being, and wear a smile for all those people in my parents ward who know my baby & in turn distantly know me.
Either way, I decided to go. My mom really encouraged me, found me a skirt, got Rowan ready, so I went on my way. Sacrament meeting was really hard. First of all I was starving, I had forgotten my glasses so I couldn't see the speaker, and I was resentful that I had to come to church. The only thing that I got out of sacrament meeting was that "hopefully everyone who is here will learn what they need from something in this meeting today". I was a bit discouraged and wanted to go home after sacrament but.. I prevailed!! haha just kidding, I stayed :] and I'm glad I did because..
A lady did a talk on faith. I'm not going to share the entire lesson.. that'd be boring. What I will share is that I learned that part of having faith is excersizing it which is doing something. Its more then just believing. & you may have to wait for a really long time for something to come to pass.. so long that you end up waiting until you are at your wits end, are about to give up, and then it will come. God has his own timetable for things and he has them for a reason. He does things to teach us what we need to learn. We must be faithful and put him first and then things will come for us. You must believe all the way. Sometimes these trials might put us in compromising positions but in the end it always works out. You just have to trust what God is doing.
I don't know if any of that makes sense.. but I was trying sooo hard not to just burst out in tears in the middle of the lesson. It hit me sooo hard and hurt but felt good to hear all at the same time. I'm going to work on trying to act on my faith.