it makes me sick to think about the past.
my heart just throbs.
i can't stand it.
it's like i feel nothing and everything.
i know i have to get past what it all was
what i did
what he did
what everyone did.
but i've just been avoiding it for all this time
i don't feel ready
and its buried so deep
i'm not sure i can uncover it all
or that i even know how.
i know i have to keep moving for my son
sometimes that easier said then done.
now would be one of those times.
i don't regret the past.
i just wish i had come to terms with it all
a long time ago.