My brothers took me shooting today (it was my first time). I was a lot more scared then I thought i'd be. I shot really poorly except with one of my brothers guns.. i shot really well with it considering it was my first time. Anyways, i had other plans for today, and for the millionth time this month, i got ditched.
i started thinking about how the only fun things i did were with my family.. how i've texted millions of ppl and it seems like they've all blown me off (pretty much for the past few months or more).. and how really, this is a crapshoot. I honestly don't know why i'm putting effort into relationships that don't work. ppl seem to only wanna be my friend when it's convenient or when they need me. and i'm done with it. i have like this much  patience with ppl now that i'm a single mom cuz really, i don't have time to deal with the bullshit. and thats all it is. bullshit. i'm a good person and i know i deserve better. i honestly don't understand why ppl treat me like they do.
so.. i'm gonna try my hardest to say goodbye to this old life of mine. I got a new apartment, which i'm stoked about.. and i've decided i'm gonna start over. I'm gonna make a plan to make new friends and start allllll the way over. i'm saying my goodbyes to my old life and my old friends.. well with an exception of a few (you better know who you are) who have been amazing lately!! butttttt for the most part, i'm resigning, putting in my two weeks, quitting, whatever you wanna call it.
pretty much it comes down to this.
i'd rather be alone then be in stuck in a crowded room and feel lonely.