Somtimes I wonder if I'm crazy. Am I the only one who's insecure and let's my past so much rule my life? I know I've been through a lot but I just feel as though I should be able to handle it all. Its tearing at my heart. I feel the pain in my chest and the sickening feeling in my stomach. Tortured. That's a good word. Its like a poisen that needs to be let out of me. Lately I've just been.. crying. I know I need to let it out that way. I just feel as though no one is there to listen. Maybe that's why I write on here. I don't think really much of anyone reads it or knows what to say, but I feel as though I need to say something to someone, even if it is just a computer. Sigh.. I'm just grateful for the gospel in my life or I'm afraid all would be lost.