Wednesday, November 23, 2011


I really do have a lot to be thankful for. I think that as a single mom that has that past that I do, I have a unique perspective on this stuffses. So I'll try not to make this boring.. like an acceptance speach or somesing lol.. cuz you can't exactly cue the music on me ;) I am so thankful for my son, Rowan. He was sent to me at the perfect time and has truely turned my life around. I'm thankful for my family being there for me and supporting me in my singleparenthoodythingy, as well as the friends of mine that have stuck around. I'm thankful for the gospel and the atonement. I cannot tell you how much that it has changed my life and helped me learn and grow. which brings me to my next point. I'm thankful for my trials. I would not be who i am today without them. I'm thankful for the privlegded life i live. there are many people who don't have anything close to what i have. it is really humbling to think that way every once in a while and remember that everything that you have is something.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Just for you, Ryan

For all of you optimists out there that read my posts and wrinkle your nose, thinking i'm just another "emo" kid who's in serious need of yet another box of kleenex. haha i'm pretty proud of myself for that one :p (in case you didn't know, that was a joke.) ha ha ha i'm soooo funny. but for serious. I'm not calling out Ryan because he thinks i'm a blubbering boob (bahaha), i'm calling him out because he brought a very important detail to my attention that i'd like to share. i'm real. and i tell it like it is. if you know me very well, you know this is true. yes. i can be sweet too. but i'm also abrasive. and sarcastic. and BLUNT as all hell. i have a dark sense of humor and am sometimes cynical. but most of all.. I LIKE TO TELL IT LIKE IT IS. i'm not gonna sugar coat it honey. i'm. just. not. why? well why not tell what i feel? why sugar coat? there is this social stigma that i'm a weirdo if i feel depressed and tell ppl about it. of course, i don't need to tell evvvveryone about it! i'm not some attention seeking weirdo. there's a fine line between attention seeking and real. i'm not posting this all over, asking for sympathy. i'm telling you how my life really is, or how i feel at the moment. that is it. and whooopty freakin do if you think otherwise. then maybe you should get to know me better. i'm not afraid to be ugly in front of a croud, to show my scars, to show my true self, the good and the bad. make of that what you will. Thank you Ryan :] also, in light of what you've brought to my attention, i want my next blog to be a thankful-vember blog! i'd write it now but i just don't have the time. so.. here's a really lame cliff hanger.... ENJOY!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

No talents spec'd for you

So I feel like as a person, I have but one talent.. being helping others. And lately, I don't even feel as though I can do that. I just feel like lately, everything in my life is slowly being chipped at and taken away.. and most of it I can't change or say anything about it. More than anything I just.. am at a loss for what to do. I thought I had everything so planned out.. I thought I had people there for me. I thought I had confidence in what I could do. I guess I thought wrong.