Monday, January 30, 2012

Cleaning up the wreckage

Sobriety isn't exactly easy.

past is past, but sobriety is an active choice
which I believe is where most people folly

because most of us would believe that a simple choice in itself would suffice
but.. unfortunately..

it doesn't.

Because you're gonna want to drink again.
or whatever it is that you do.
and in my case, thats getting black out drunk.. or smoking.
which started honestly to drown my feelings
numb the pain of my emotional disorder i have (that i didn't know i had at the time)

It has been two years since I've had a drop of alcohol.
I've quit smoking as well.

it is a battle

not like an, every night i wanna get wasted, battle
but more of a,
bad day wanna end it with a drink battle
every time i smell ciggarette smoke battle
can't hang around ppl who are smoking or drinking battle

but i've put together a great system and support team to help me to continually conquer this battle

And i owe my sobriety mostly to my son
and my therapist
and my family
and my best friend Lindsay
and bestie Bailey
and boifrienn Taylor

But really, my sobriety started when I found out I was pregnant with my little bean

So here's my sincerest thanks to Rowan for turning my life around and literally saving me
and to me celebrating two years alcohol free <3 and letting all you folks out there know that anything is possible to overcome within yourself with the right amount of commitment and a good support team, anything can be achieved. no matter how big or small it may seem scary, and you may have to dig deep, but you certainly have the power within you and don't forget the power around and above you you have ancestors watching over you and as i've said in many blog posts before you do as much as you can and He will make up the rest

1 comment:

  1. Mel, I am so completely proud of you! Not only for overcoming these challenges but for being able to be totally honest about it. During times with my emotional and mental battles, I've found that being open and honest with other people is a huge stepping stone. Keep it real girl :)